Ok, so I cant get the pictures to be pictures. ;.;

Where am I from?

mood: cheerful

Im not really sure why Im updating, I didnt really want to until it was for sure that I had a job..
God it sucks so bad not having a job.. Im some how getting by with my bills, but it cant hold forever with a job and Im so BORED without one!

On the up side, yesterday I did give a massage to metro_spike, it was really amussing because his parents called half way through it and when he told them he was at a friends house getting a massage they said they would like one too! XD!!! I was severely amussed by that.
Like an hour and a half later I ended up going to Maccaroni Grill with Twitch, Shopple, Mac, Fishy and natalie. that was a bunch of fun because we were all drawing while waiting for our food!
Natalie had the CUTEST chibi drawings.. Rachel if you read this: They really reminded me of yours, so if I can get a cable to put the pictures on a computer I will.
I didnt do much drawing but I finally sort of figured out what I want wanted for the tattoo im getting for the tribute to my dad. Mind you I dont plan on getting it any time soon really.. I just want it. It seems fitting since I never got to get one from him.

Haha Ive been watching to much TLC lately. Although I must admit the shows that come on there are highly amussing.

Oh yea! My birthday is coming up soon! I'll be 20 this year! Can you believe it? ... I cant, heh this has probably been the craziest year of my life. XD!

mood: bored

So I remember sort of reading The Picture of Dorian Gray but I'm re-reading it.
If I end up posting the same thing twice.. well then you should know its because its worth reading. =)

"Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one," said the young lord, plucking another daisy.

Hallward shook his head. "You don't understand what friendship is, Harry," he murmured - "or what enmity is, for that matter. You like every one; that is to say, you are indifferent to every one."

"How horribly unjust of you!" cried Lord Henry, tilting his hat back and looking up at the little clouds that, like ravelled skeins of glossy white silk, were drifting across the hollowed turquoise of the summer sky. "Yes; horribly unjust of you. I make a great difference between people. I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies. I have not got one who is a fool. They are all men of some intellectual power, and consequently they all appreciate me. Is that very vain of me? I think it is rather vain."

mood: amused

Which isnt going to last forever..
In.. less then two weeks we get to switch classes and its going to be two classes about massage finally.. although I dont know if we will get to massage in either one. One is.. something like an intro in to what a massage therapist will need, and *makes drum roll* the first antaomy and physiology class!

Although there is one thing bothering me, its not everyone but a few people in class just give off this feeling like they dont really.. care? I mean I would understand if this was school but this is TRAINING for a real career! I dont want to just straight up tell them because I could be wrong, or maybe they just want to do something with their lives.. either way they're not giving off the attitude needed... but again thats just me and thankfully no one has a live journal so ranting here is safe.
See Im with the same 6 people for my entire course! SO, best to make nice and not complain. Thankfully we all get along, but it must be because of my period coming up that Im nagging a bit more then usual.. which I dont mean to but on my period I speak my mind more then I probably should. >_>;;;;

Well Im going to give a shout out to my dear friends whom I miss greatly!
Amanda, Essie.. (she wont see if but im sure someone will see her I hope), Rachel, Annie, Christina, Shane!
I miss yas.. and you guys need to get in touch because im sure you guys are in tampa at some point or another.. wheather here on business or going to busch gardens! So I hope to hear from you soon. <33
Oh and to Mari and Pedro! Thank you thank you thank you for fixing the PSP! *sends out truck loads of love* I missed it greatly and now it works better then ever! ^___________^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok I might go play my PSP now.. Im not sure if the teacher will care but oh well if she does, worst case senario is that Ill be told to put it up. *shrugs*

mood: bored

I kept having these freaky dreams! and one was reacurring.. except I remembered it IN the dream so I stopped it from happening.. o.O;

Well basically it starts off with me in this like.. I want to say it reminds me of a motel because there are lots of rooms and people are consistently coming and going but I've never really paid attention to the detail of the place.
Anyhow basically at some point I'm outside doing something with the dirt when i see a car pull in and a wave of cold fear comes over me. 
*I see in the drivers seat the actor person from I think Seven. With Morgan Freeman and the other girl*
But like, Its him but I get another aura coming off of him.. its like on of Hannibal. I was so scared!
So at first Im running to the military people that were staying there.. but like I dont know what I said but they didnt seem to do anything. So I was kinda scared and I go back to my room and then he comes to visit. (the scary guy) and just by his demenor.. its creepy! So he spoke to me as if he knew me for some reason.
Well then my mom came by and he was talking to her and then he said something, something that no one should have really known and she got creeped out and left not to long afterwards.
Well the creepy guy came with someone, his mother or something and she was eating something and said that she wanted to head out the next day but you never see her after that. and like I dont know if I found something or if I just knew instincivly that she had been cut up..
Well like, I try to tell some people and this being the second time going through this I didnt want to get caught so I woke up really frightened.. 
Well I was still REALLY tired! So like I closed my eyes and I heard The crackle.. and the bang and more crackling of a fireworks mortar and then my leg lifts (in my dream) and he whispers "You dont think I dont have more stuff like that to keep any sound from getting out?" I freaked and woke up and didnt go back to bed for probably a half an hour.
I REALLY hate that dream..

Well the next one I was basically in a REALLY tall hotel or something and again I was outside and someone had just put food out for people to get to and then a rogue wave just comes out of no where and anyone outside or anything was being washed down ... wherever we were! But like pokemon were there and I told them all to grab someone and pull them back...
It was just strange because even up on the.. 7th floor or something the waves were getting in because the one wave wasnt alone. I mean I dont know what the heck ive been doing before bed but I need to stop having these screwed up dreams! 
x_X;

mood: blank

Oh you guys, the teacher we have is like known through the school as being one of the best and he said he was really impressed by all of us for being able to find a flow and really act.. not like beginners do. Like most begining classes like to go really fast and stuff but we were taking our time. 
And Jena gave me a massage first and I have like a huge knot around my shoulder blade.. >.> I think its from sleeping on the floor. ^.^;;;
But she worked on it some and then she found some bumps in my neck. Haha so many knots and Im almost 90% sure its from that damn floor.. but there's not much I can do about that. 
Also it was so funny because Josh had fallen asleep during his massage and you could hear him snoring. XD I couldnt help but laugh.
But after a break I got ready to give her one. She thinks she has no flow to her massage. Anywho, the teacher tells the first group that they went over an hour and that they should finish up. So most of my group ended up finishing in about 30 to 45 mins, and mind you we had just learned doing the legs.
But I was really trying to do what I wanted and I set the pace, taking my time but not really lingering on to much at one time and apparently I finished in about 55 mins. My only real problem is that I have bad body structure right now because Im not used to that. But Im really learning to get into to it. See if my back hurts doing the massage I re-evaluate how Im standing and then try to adjust it accordingly. 
I was so proud of myself because I even lifted Jenas legs to stretch her and practice proper draping. -nods-
I so cant wait to get a table because I cant learn the body movements if people are the floor or something. >.<
But yea, Jena said it felt really good and I can preform arm massages properly, so if anyone wants to come visit and bring pillows to lay I will SO drape you properly with sheets and get to work on your body. :D

mood: impressed

So if anyone has gotten a massage from me in the past.. PLEASE come visit me. I now know how to make you relaxed as hell! I will loosen up your back. However, I have not been in the class long enough to do trigger point work yet, so I will not find painful points on your back and use preasure to remove them. Although, I will stretch your muscles in your back and work on your arms. Omg I'm totally loving this class!
And my friend Jena is like THE BEST. 
And today was really awesome! So Im in module 1 right? Well we had students from module 5 come and work on us today. and in turn we were supposed to work on them back.
Well everyone (me + 5 others) in the class was getting really nervous. But me? I was tired of being nervous so I got excited! When it came time for me to give the massage.. sure I got nervous a little but not like Tuesday, I was shaky as hell! But then I relaxed and started to talking to Stevie (the girl whom I was paired with) and she showed me a few techniques that feel totally amazing on your arms.
PLUS~ Tee hee I got my oil today. ^o^ SO now I dont have to keep using lotion because oil lasts much longer. -nods-

But I am still jobless which I'm sort of worrying about but, its ok, Im almost sure I could get on at Subway just to pay bills and what not. 
However I have the tutition stuff in my head but after being in the class two weeks I realize that everyone has to do this and that if you really love something, as much as I love this, You really do learn to live with it and get by.

But I just wanted to update and tell anyone that wants to visit that right now, since I am not liscenced.. I can give anyone free massages. :D!!
Ok I'll talk to you guys later. ^________^

mood: excited

This isn’t a dress rehearsal…

Wake up!

Here’s the deal: What we can be, we MUST be.

Period.

There’s no getting around that one.

So, turn off your TV. Put down your drink. Get off the medication.

Quit numbing yourself. The pain’s not going away.

Not until you thinkarete.

“thinkarete”?

Yep.

Gandhi got it. Einstein got it. Mother Theresa got it.

Tiger gets it. Gates gets it. Oprah gets it.

The Greeks got it.

Get this: Guys like Socrates, Plato and Aristotle said that if you want happiness you better live with areté–a word that literally means virtue or excellence but has a deeper meaning…something closer to “constantly striving to reach your highest potential.”

areté.

How beautiful is that? It was one of the highest ideals of Greek culture.

It should be one of ours.

Tragically, it’s not.

We seem to be more interested in resumes, accolades and 401k's.

Speaking of retirement…

Who came up with that? Work like crazy doing something we're not passionate about so we can accumulate enough money to pay the bills from our stress-caused illnesses while we complain about what we should have done when we were still young.

Hmmm…We can’t quite figure that one out. Seems like it makes a bit more sense to go ahead and dare to live now…

Why not thinkarete?

Live to your highest potential–moment to moment to moment.

Not in the mood?

Fine. Then live with regret, anxiety, and disillusionment.

Your call.

Think about it. When do we feel most alive?

Exactly. When we’re being ourselves–our highest selves.

You want happiness?

thinkarete.

Dream. Grow. Stretch yourself.

Rip off the tie. Jump out of the cubicle.

Dream. Think. Dare to be crazy.

What are you waiting for?

thinkarete.

Are you crazy enough to think you can change the world?

Good.

Now go out and do it.

Live. Love. Smile. Hug. Laugh. Dream. Do. Create.

Have fun. Be intense. Be audacious. Be unreasonable. Act impeccably. Breathe.

Be you. Be different. Get paid to do what you love. Dance in your underwear on your way to work…

Why not?

Ditch the tie. Escape the cube. Leave the 8-5. Trash the resume.

Ignore the critics. And the cynics. Burn the corporate ladders. Laugh at the ceilings.

Quit the bitching. Open your mind. End the laziness. Overcome the fear. Transcend the conditioning…

Why not?

Move the world.

Change the world.

Push the human race forward.

Whatever you call it, go out and do it.

When?

Now.

Not when you have enough money or once you do this or do that. That’s nonsense.

It’s not gonna be easy, but go out and live your dream. Now.

You deserve it.

And, if that doesn’t move you: The world deserves it.

thinkarete.

http://www.thinkarete.com

Pretty crazy saying huh? But totally moving. It is not my own, however I thought anyone who took the time to read this, and listen.. anyone: That I would give them a chance to see this too.. because even before seeing this, its telling mexactly what I did when I entered college. I didnt have the money ready and I wanted to do this or that first and instead I enrolled and got started and they are right. Its not going to be easy but nothing worth doing ever is. I hope you all get something out of this!